How is Dating for women after they get a divorce or separated? We don’t get married thinking it will end up this way and when it does we don’t want to be judged for it. I think its different from men and women. I guess from a women’s perspective we think in “general” he is going to go out and be with another women asap. Or maybe that is the mean side coming forth but we should really wish he finds somebody special. For women though or maybe its just my thoughts… we don’t want to jump in right away into another relationship. Yes I am recently separated and moving on with my life… there is no thoughts what-so-ever! about the ex… but somehow it always comes up in dating.. how do we get around this? If you don’t talk about it.. what happens.. and if you do and don’t keep it short and sweet… the other person may think you are still attached to him in some way. hmmmmm so here I go off into the dating world..
I decided to go the old route.. well actually my friends helped me out. “A dating site! No Way!” I said. So I did it and didn’t post a picture at all. The reason mostly b.c. of my job and I also wanted to find out if any guys would actually send me a message without a picture. I mostly got message asking for a picture but I did get one message from a very attractive gentlemen telling me we had things in common and he wanted to get to know me better.. Wow I guess there really is good ones out there!
The first date: We meet for mini golf and first impressions were great. He was dressed very nicely and the conversation went well. We decided to go for dinner where it only grew from there. Now usually first dates should be short and sweet just getting to know somebody but we both decided a nice talk on the beach would be fun. The conversation flowed nicely almost like a boxing match.. one two one two.. We had great chemistry from the start. The kind where you cant stop looking at each other but also on an intellectual level.. our minds might have been making love lol. We were sitting there under the stars. The Sea Salt on our lips.. and it happened.. the first kiss. Yes on the First date. Do most people kiss on the first date? I guess it depends on the person and the situation. All I can say looking back. That was the best kiss I ever had. Soft/Strong/Smooth. The date ended… we went in on our separate ways.
Our next encounter was at the beach. I watched him approach the beach coming in from windsurfing. All I could think about.. is wow he is good looking.. and he is smart! We chated as we walked up and down the beach… This was nice.
The third date: We made dinner together. The conversation was great. Talking about mundane but important chit chat. Then it was off to the make out session. Wow kissing again was the best. There is definitely a big difference when you kiss a good kisser and a bad kisser.. but somehow are lips just fit together… Then we talked again and the ex came back up as well as a miscarriage I had a month before. Dating sites in general tell you to keep the first dates to a minimal conversation about personal things. If this is so how do we truly get to know somebody. Also if you don’t tell somebody something that is relatively important then how are you going to know how they will react. My thought on this is.. yes I could wait to tell him. Down the road when we might be dating if all goes well.. but by then he might already like me a lot and it will just be shrugged off. At least telling him on the third date I get to see what kind of person he really is and how he handle’s stuff. Am I wrong for that?
I could tell he was taken back.. well maybe not taken back.. but he is a very smart person and he had to analyze the situation. If I was him the first thoughts that would go into my head is wow is she really over this? –Well yes I am over this or I wouldnt be talking about it– This goes back to my first part.. how do we date and when do tell?
Hmmm After it was over I thought to myself. I really like this guy.. but maybe I just blew it. Then I sat back and thought. I am being myself, my life before made me ME! I am a better person for everything I have went through and if somebody really wants to get to know you why would you or your past be judged for it?
Our society today doesn’t judge whats on the inside.. more of whats on the outside.. what kind of car you have.. how many kids you have, how many times you have been divorced, should we be walking around with a list of why things happened … I don’t think so.. I think we should just wait for the one person to come into our lives.. to be there to ask why and that is the person who really wants to get to you as person…
I got an email from him.. and my insecurities vanished when he said he still wanted to see each other. I should have never thought that he didn’t. Maybe I’m the lucky one. Getting to know somebody all over again is both tantalizing and scary at the same time. I think this one is a keeper so far… but how can you really tell only after a couple of dates. I dont like to post about my personal love life.. but maybe in the future good or bad.. you can only learn from your mistakes. Is this what dating after being separated or divorced really like? If so I cant wait to see him again!
